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What would you trade for attention? Would you trade it for the trust people have in you? What if these were people you didn’t know and would not see again, would you do it then? I think that if we are intellectually honest with ourselves, the conclusion would be that we all negotiate away trust whenever we seek attention to varying degrees. You might have seen a friend’s version of a post like: “I want to know how many friends I have. If you don’t like this post, I will unfriend you.” Or “If you love your mom like the post” How about, “if you believe that people shouldn’t be homeless…” Perhaps, like me, you think that these people love me and they have to put up with my shenanigans. Don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of legitimate reasons to grab someone’s immediate attention. The catch is that when you keep doing it, you will be ignored at best and ridiculed and hated at worst. I think that many of us will give lip service to the notion of being authentic and carefree. “I don’t give a damn what people think, I have to be honest” is often shouted in exacerbation when being admonished. I would argue that being cavalier about the words we burst out is not about honesty but entitlement and apathy. When hearing others saying the same words I’ve voiced, it embarrasses me because I suddenly realize how I sound to others. Applying the lessons gained from self-reflection has saved me from giving into selfish behavior but it has also crippled me from taking greater risks.

Now, these are the rules of engagement in the RL (real world) or at least a point of view that you might be sympathetic and understand if not agree with it. What we say in person has a level of intimacy and immediacy that often leads us to self-censure. When face to face and alone, we are far more considerate might even overcorrect with analogies to not be misunderstood. However if we are anonymous then forget about it, all bets are off. I am of the opinion that there is a de-evolution of norms when it comes to online discussions as there is a race to the bottom. There are plenty of aspirational rules for social media and when one person violates it, others follow. “Why should I follow the rules if nobody else does?”, many have rhetorically asked. I suspect that in time we will need more sophisticated AI software to moderate all public discussions. Human moderators keep getting accused of being in the pocket of the other side, whichever side you are not. All the major platforms are already using some form of AI to do some moderation. I can appreciate a rule breaker when you are in a game that you don’t want to or agree to play. But not when you did not agree with the rules and there is harm being imposed on you by continuing to play the game. The truth of the matter is that when you go to Facebook, Twitter, or YouTube comments, there are rules that you agree to when joining. Now, you are in someone else’s sandbox. It is absurd to think that anyone owes you more latitude to express your rage, passion, or ignorance. Apologies, I digress.

Where am I going with this you ask? Well, as time passes and we forget about all the fun we’ve had online, keep in mind that we all are being tracked. Our posts with our memes and comments are all nicely cataloged and may come back to us later. A disgruntled neighbor, coworker, employer, ex, or you name it will go looking for something. Do you stand by everything you post forever and ever?

Merry Christmas everyone.

Like everyone else, I have a presence on several social media channels scattered across the interwebs. You can find my Artist accounts on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Linkedin, Tumblr, and some that I have already forgotten. I also have separate media channel accounts for Seismicmark. Then there are the accounts I manage for some of my clients. There are undoubtedly far too many accounts on my plate, but I recognize that I am not in a typical situation. However, I think that the time commitment involved in being a proper steward of any account is grossly underappreciated. The social media landscape is vast. You have your Social Networks like; Facebook, Linkedin, WhatsApp, and Messenger. You have your Blogs and forums like WordPress, Tumblr, and Medium. There are also the microblogs like; Twitter, Pinterest, Tik Tok, and Byte. Then there are social bookmarking platforms like Reddit, Digg, Mix, and Buzzfeed. And I still have not mentioned media sharing channels, geosocial, rating & reviews, or social knowledge categories!

When friends encourage me to join them on different or new social media platforms they recently discovered like Vero, I sigh. First of all, I have reservations about the founder. Second, I wonder what responsibilities having the account will bring. If it were just a handful that wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world, but it is not. As I rattled off a dozen of the multitudes available you can see that these are all little time vampires. Above all, I value my time; it is the one thing I can not earn, cheat, or steal more of. As I grey and wrinkle it is inescapable and I simply can’t fool myself that I have more discretionary time or patience for that matter.

Allow me to briefly review some of my concerns: How much time will be required to participate and what about the other media channels? Will this be five, twenty, or forty minutes? How much information will I have to vet others who want to connect with me? What sort of content creation is expected and can or will I be up for it? The discussions generated, will I participate or walk away from it? That would like walking away after spilling a gallon of milk in the dairy aisle pretending it was not yours. What personal information will be public vs. private and how long before that changes? Then there is the profile pic that I will choose, will it be the same as other channels or a new one? What about the banner, is it like painting the walls where you choose a color, or will I need a photo that says something about who I am? Perhaps this is a branding opportunity, if so, I will have to coordinate it with all the other media channels. Now I have to consider the social media Venn diagram and tweak the messaging to optimize my branding campaign. Just writing this is tensing up my trapezius muscles at the thought of it. I haven’t even mentioned the engagement social media marketing cycle or RACE (Reach, Act, Convert, and Engage) management tools. Before I keep going down this rabbit hole I offer for your benefit and interest some cheat sheet notes.

Also I aggregated the Social Media Image sizes and guides on a downloadable text document. Here is the link.

Cheat Sheet Notes:

Facebook Page’s cover photo: Displays at 820 pixels wide by 312 pixels tall on your Page on computers and 640 pixels wide by 360 pixels tall on smartphones.

Twitter header photo: Displays at 1500 pixels wide by 500 pixels tall. You’ll also need to account for your profile picture and the invisible area around your display image.

LinkedIn company logo size: 300 x 300. The cover photo size: 1536 x 768. Dynamic Ads size: 100 x 100 (company logo)

Tumblr banner photo: Displayed as a 3000 pixels x 1055 pixels image for desktop and 640 pixels x 360 pixels on mobile.

YouTube recommends as the ideal size to use for your banner image is 2560 pixels wide by 1440 pixels tall.

Instagram profile picture size: 110 x 110. Instagram photo sizes: 1080 x 1080 (square), 1080 x 566 (landscape), 1080 x 1350 (portrait)

I’ve always believed that supporting brick & mortar stores is not only important but my duty as a member of the community. Especially during this time of year, I wanted to offer my patronage to those businesses trying to survive. I recognize that during this economy the business climate and cash reserves are lean or nonexistent and operating in the red. So, I grabbed my new N-95 mask, a small bottle of spray sanitizer, and a pair of medical-grade gloves and was ready to hit the road.

I spent my Sunday dashing in and out of stores looking for presents for my loved ones. Parking lots were full, lines were long, many people were rude and some were just disgusting. Maskless children were sneezing and coughing bumping into me while one or two of their parents were present. Forget six feet of distancing, since when is it okay to invade personal spaces. Personal space is between 3-10 feet and I preferring the ten feet when it comes to strangers. I know this may be asking too much, but seriously do I need your kid coughing on me? Then there were the “Gym Bros” with their sleeveless shirts and their skinny legs. They wore their masks as chin straps or only partially covering with noses hanging off their masks like phalluses. They would nod each other across the hordes as if saying I recognize you, my dude, you are one of the cool ones. I stood in one line where the young men behind me kept inching behind me leaving only one foot between us. I turned around and stared at them till they were uncomfortable by it. Then, there were the line cutters who insist they were with someone already inside. Needless to say, there was an actual effort to police the entrance and for that I was thankful. I was fortunate enough to make it in and out of most stores without too much of a fuss. I bought half a dozen gift cards to cover the rest of my gift buying. Between my artist studio life and my boutique design business, there isn’t much free time.

I finished my evening with a quick run to my local grocery store. I needed a couple of things for my meal preparation today, as I prefer my ingredients as fresh as possible. After gathering a few items in the handheld basket I was ready to check out. The woman behind the register was making faces as if the flatulence at the checkout area were rancid. There was some cheerful Christmas music playing in the background. I commented on how it was nice to hear some Christmas music. She then goes into a rant about how it is no longer “Political Correct” to play it. I replied that this has been an odd year and that normally play it in my home but have not felt as festive this year. She said, “Yeah, neither have I.”

On my way home it occurred to me that the only thing preventing me from doing all my purchases online is crappy websites. So, my plan for 2021 is to encourage more online shopping carts with an emphasis on a better user experience. If you have a brick & mortar and don’t have an easy to use shopping cart component is it my job to keep you afloat?

If time were a train and you were on it, you would cover a lot of ground as you reach your destination. If you jump off our metaphorical train to walk instead and allow it to leave you behind, your intended destination will never be reached. Such is my daily struggle. I have a plan to complete my self-assigned tasks, but often abandon it and just say “F’ that, let’s take this detour”. My day begins with the best of intentions. My plan consists of a schedule designed to keep me occupied and productive. I, inevitably, end up sidetracked by domestic chores, like watering my garden, and suddenly, I notice, one of my trees or cactus requires some cosmetic attention. Left unchecked, I will be gardening for the rest of the day. This is when my schedule gets me back on track. On my daily schedule, I will list the things that need to be done first and the things I want to do second. Then, I have to see how much time is left available to complete my list. What doesn’t get penciled in will be a carryover ’til tomorrow.

The things I want to do every day are as follows; shower, shave, and dressed for the day.; an hour of exercise; ride my bike on the beach; drawing in the studio; write for my blog. On days when they all get done, I feel like a superstar. On days when they are not, I feel like the day has escaped me and blame myself for not following my daily schedule. I actually have to add my medications, vitamins, water, and food. Otherwise, I will keep going until I no longer feel well. There is also my little American Eskimo dog, Pulu, and she requires four 10 minute walks a day. It is never convenient for me, but she insists on them.

As for the things that I need to do less of, those are my time vampires. For example, checking my emails are a big-time sucker. If I don’t have actual work, there is a daily avalanche of emails dumped in my inbox to keep me occupied. Sorting through them can be the biggest time-waster or the most amazing thing of the day. Also, there is YouTube where I could spend twenty lifetimes and not watch everything I want. Meal preparations take up way too much time, but since I am on a strict diet due to a life-saving lifestyle change, I keep it going. When I examine where my time goes, I am sometimes disgusted by my inefficiency, and other times I am surprised that I can keep up.

Here is my daily schedule sheet for your amusement.

About a year and a half ago I logged on to Zoom for the first time. It was fun to catch voyeuristic glimpses of friends and colleagues’ home/work lives. Most of them seemed more at ease with it than I. They could change backgrounds, share their screen, have custom profile pics, and invite new guests into the conversation. Eventually, I would catch up and have a less passive engagement with Zoom. After a couple of sessions, I could focus on the actual conversation and not have that nagging feeling that something could be going wrong. I’m not a Luddite, but it doesn’t mean that I trust technology to not harm. This viewpoint doesn’t dictate my actions, but it is the lens through which my world is informed. That said, I do enjoy my zoom calls with my friends and colleagues. They are those who I choose to stay in communication with, sharing our lives. However, after some time I notice behavioral oddities, like walking away without explanation. Was there an emergency, I wondered. Are they having another conversation with hand signals? Were they not available and now have to pretend they are not on a Zoom call? I could go on, but you get the point. Nobody else on the call mentions it, am I the odd one for noticing?

As a guest speaker, I feel a bit more nervous and that is mostly because of my fear that the connection may fail. Again, I don’t trust the technology to work to carry the transmitting, and having to repeat myself throwing me off message. Also, during these calls, I feel that the stakes are a bit higher as they are generally time limited. Once they are in progress I am searching for facial reactions to whatever it is I’m saying. Without fail, there will be individuals who are in front of the camera but they are not present and almost look uncomfortable. I will wonder, who hurt you, dude? Are my words making your ears bleed? Why are you here? Obviously, these are rhetorical questions. But, honestly, they are adults and yet behave as children who hate to sit still.

Now, I’ve zoomed with family and that is usually a train-wreck. If it were a TV show it would most certainly be the lowest-rated satirical drama. Not everyone is ready after they all agreed to be available. Not everyone is sober or coherent. Suddenly someone wants to include a family member who has never owned or operated a computer. Now they need to receive a crash course on downloading the app and use of the said app. Family members will abandon the call and random people will walk by and say hello. Phones will be placed on a counter or table facing up displaying their ceiling fixtures. I guess when you are family all pretenses are off the table.

As Christmas approaches and Covid hangs around, there will surely be many more Zoom calls. Well, this will probably go into the summer after most people are vaccinated. In the meantime, I do recommend the following guidelines for your consideration.

ADULT ZOOM GUIDELINES

1. Mute your microphone if you are not talking and have background noise going on.
2. Excuse yourself if you need to step away. Seriously.
3. Be mindful of background noise. See no. 1
4. Stay sober through the duration of call.
5. Position your camera properly.
6. Stay engaged with the conversation.
7. Limit distractions.
8. Avoid multi-tasking.
9. Prepare materials in advance.

Let me start by letting you know that my day job is that of a Visual Artist with an exhibition history going back to 1984. In pre-internet times it was a much more arduous effort to get the word out. My initial interest in Marketing and Advertising was rooted in the boosting of my art career. Like many artists, my world is split between two careers. Once social media began to make waves both my art career and the marketing job converged. Clients wanted in on the wave as did my friends, looking back it was inevitable.

I have a love/hate, but more on the hate, type of relationship with the behemoth Facebook which launched in 2004. Although my binary attraction to FB is not uncommon or healthy it is nevertheless the one I feel trapped in. Like many of us who were lured by their more social friends, I negotiated with myself on the merits of membership. “There will be no personal information shared and it doesn’t matter how many friends I have or don’t have” I reasoned. I will only share my artwork and keep it professional, I continued. With much apprehension and disdain for social media, I joined the cult of Facebook in November of 2007 a year after it was open to the public. This was my third effort to connect with other creative souls of whom I found plenty on the platform. My relationship with MySpace had fizzled out and it was time to do some serious networking with galleries, collectors, artists, curators, and writers. All the serious creatives were switching so the timing was right. It seemed like a perfect match between FB and me. Of course, this gluttonous monster that has acquired 82 companies including Instagram, WhatsApp, and Oculus VR doesn’t leave much of an option to connect with your community. The FB predecessors are the bud of jokes like Friendster, Google plus, MySpace, and Vine. And the FB wannabees can’t gain much traction to make a dent in FB’s 2.7 billion users. If you don’t believe me, honestly, tell me you have heard of more than two on the list: WT Social, EyeEm, Yubo, MeWe, Sociall, Friendica, Ello, Vero, Mastodon, Steemit, Raftr, or Diaspora?

Right off the bat, I accepted everybody, mistake number one. Before I realized it whenever I logged on and my anxiety would skyrocket. I would find myself in dialogue with people who didn’t like each other and felt guilty for hosting them. Someone who I knew in RL would say something incredibly offensive for laughs and my more thin-skinned friends would lose their shit. And, I would feel responsible for it all. It all spun out of my control. It then occurred to me that I needed rules of engagement. By compartmentalizing, I gave myself a permission framework to depersonalize it. So I decided to share it with you.

Friend Request Rules

• I accept Artists, Galleries, Collectors, Curators, Writers
• No Musicians unless there is a connection to artworld
• No Poets unless there is a connection to the artworld
• No Politicians unless there is a connection to the artworld
• No bot accounts, parse profile with no photo or photo of model are a dead giveaway
• English or Spanish speakers as these are the languages I’m fluent in
• I have moratorium on family for ten years now

Un-Friending Rules

• You are an asshole online or RL
• Your political views have no room for me on my wall
• If you un-friend me there is no taksies backsies
• You are not interested in engaging with me, only posting your stuff on my wall
• If you send me more than three chainletters in a lifetime
• You troll me

Blocking Rules

• You are an asshole online or RL
• You have wronged me or my loved ones
• Stalker/Troll behavior
• Spammers