What would you trade for attention? Would you trade it for the trust people have in you? What if these were people you didn’t know and would not see again, would you do it then? I think that if we are intellectually honest with ourselves, the conclusion would be that we all negotiate away trust whenever we seek attention to varying degrees. You might have seen a friend’s version of a post like: “I want to know how many friends I have. If you don’t like this post, I will unfriend you.” Or “If you love your mom like the post” How about, “if you believe that people shouldn’t be homeless…” Perhaps, like me, you think that these people love me and they have to put up with my shenanigans. Don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of legitimate reasons to grab someone’s immediate attention. The catch is that when you keep doing it, you will be ignored at best and ridiculed and hated at worst. I think that many of us will give lip service to the notion of being authentic and carefree. “I don’t give a damn what people think, I have to be honest” is often shouted in exacerbation when being admonished. I would argue that being cavalier about the words we burst out is not about honesty but entitlement and apathy. When hearing others saying the same words I’ve voiced, it embarrasses me because I suddenly realize how I sound to others. Applying the lessons gained from self-reflection has saved me from giving into selfish behavior but it has also crippled me from taking greater risks.
Now, these are the rules of engagement in the RL (real world) or at least a point of view that you might be sympathetic and understand if not agree with it. What we say in person has a level of intimacy and immediacy that often leads us to self-censure. When face to face and alone, we are far more considerate might even overcorrect with analogies to not be misunderstood. However if we are anonymous then forget about it, all bets are off. I am of the opinion that there is a de-evolution of norms when it comes to online discussions as there is a race to the bottom. There are plenty of aspirational rules for social media and when one person violates it, others follow. “Why should I follow the rules if nobody else does?”, many have rhetorically asked. I suspect that in time we will need more sophisticated AI software to moderate all public discussions. Human moderators keep getting accused of being in the pocket of the other side, whichever side you are not. All the major platforms are already using some form of AI to do some moderation. I can appreciate a rule breaker when you are in a game that you don’t want to or agree to play. But not when you did not agree with the rules and there is harm being imposed on you by continuing to play the game. The truth of the matter is that when you go to Facebook, Twitter, or YouTube comments, there are rules that you agree to when joining. Now, you are in someone else’s sandbox. It is absurd to think that anyone owes you more latitude to express your rage, passion, or ignorance. Apologies, I digress.
Where am I going with this you ask? Well, as time passes and we forget about all the fun we’ve had online, keep in mind that we all are being tracked. Our posts with our memes and comments are all nicely cataloged and may come back to us later. A disgruntled neighbor, coworker, employer, ex, or you name it will go looking for something. Do you stand by everything you post forever and ever?
Merry Christmas everyone.